What Not To Wear
by soapmaniac22
Summary: Caroline decides that it's time for a change in her and Klaus' life. More importantly, a change in their closet. Written for Klaroline Fools Day!


**Hello lovelies! Happy Klaroline Fools Day!**

**So the idea for this little drabble/one shot came up actually this fall when my Klarochatters were talking about how badly Klaus is dressed on The Originals. We were talking about what Caroline would do and how she would take matters into her own hands. **

**Lo and behold, this little plot was developed. And I promise it's a lot happier and lighter than my last drabble (sorry about that depressing plot!)**

**Same universe as my usual oneshots, AKA Klaroline utopia with no babies, baby mamas, bartenders, and my precious bbs Kol and Kat are alive**

**It's kind of crack-ish, hella fluffy, but I'd like to think it'll put a smile on your face and make you giggle :)**

**Thanks to Erika for beta-ing!**

**Happy Reading :)**

* * *

Klaus was in a good mood for a change.

He slept a full six hours after a long night of ravishing his beautiful blonde in their bed, then was woken up by said blonde for another round the next morning. That later included dining on each other for breakfast and a very long shared shower.

He loved Saturday mornings.

Biting his bottom lip, he watched Caroline climb out of the shower and wrap a towel around her smooth, wet torso. Eyeing the beads of water on her shoulder lustfully, he grabbed a towel and secured it around his waist as he took another to help her dry her hair. Her sated expression matched his when they met each other's eyes in the bathroom mirror. She winked and kissed his bottom lip teasingly as she slipped out of his grip and headed towards their bedroom.

Klaus smirked after her before moving to the door of their walk-in closet to get dressed for the day.

That is, if he had any clothes left.

_What the hell?_

"CAROLINE!"

All the activity noise in their bedroom where Caroline was getting ready, ceased. There was a flash of blonde hair at his side in an instant. Klaus stood gaping at his side of their walk-in closet at where his clothes were supposed to be. His side was instead bare, the only thing left was an old suit jacket with coat tails and a pair of black jeans.

"Is there a problem?" Caroline asked innocently, peeking out at him underneath her thick eyelashes, her eyes glittering with amusement. He tried to ignore the fact that her skin was still wonderfully damp and she was half naked under the towel.

Klaus huffed angrily and gestured at the closet.

"Where the bloody hell are my clothes?!"

He stomped into the closet and began pulling out drawers, rifling through Caroline's own to find a shirt or a pair of pants that belonged to him. Caroline giggled lightly and he turned his incredulous look onto her.

"This isn't funny. Where did you put my clothes?"

Caroline rolled her eyes and began to pick casually at her nails.

"I burned them."

"YOU WHAT?" Klaus roared.

Caroline smirked at his angry glare and walked up to him, pressing her fingers on his forehead to smooth out the angry lines there. He visibly relaxed at her touch but his glare remained in place as he waited for her to explain.

"I'm waiting."

Caroline sighed and reached up to kiss his angry scowl, inwardly loving the fact that no matter how angry he is at her, he couldn't resist trying to deepen the kiss. She giggled, dancing out of his grip when his hand tried to pull her closer to his body. She shot him as grin as he sighed dejectedly, running his hand through her damp blonde curls.

"Sweetheart," he began, trying to keep his tone as cool as possible. "Why did you burn all of my clothes?"

"Well have you seen what you've been wearing lately?" she asked, gesturing at his also towel clad body. Klaus furrowed his brow in confusion as Caroline began ticking off clothing items with her fingers.

"That god-awful grey suit jacket, that black zip-up sweatshirt jacket, don't even get me started on that leather hoodie-"

"I actually paid for that leather hoodie," Klaus interjected.

"And wasn't that a crime?" she shot back smirking at him. He rolled his eyes as she continued listing his clothes.

"Those awful, wrinkly leather pants-"

"I wore leather pants back in Mystic Falls when we knew each other then," he interrupted again. She smiled sweetly at him and patted his arm. "There is nothing wrong with a little bit of leather, love."

"_Good _leather pants. Not the kind that look like they need to be ironed every five minutes. Which reminds me, that wrinkly looking leather jacket went in the trash too."

Klaus pouted as Caroline continued listing all the items she personally burned.

"All those ugly sweatshirts, all those weird-ass vests, that cowl-neck grandma thing-"

"That jumper was rather comfortable," Klaus protested with a frown.

"Just because you are a thousand years old, doesn't mean you need to dress like it," Caroline shot back cheekily. Klaus glared at her and turned to stare at his empty closet.

"You used to dress so sexy," Caroline began, trailing a hand up his smooth abdomen. She moved in front of him and placed a hot kiss on his chest. Klaus quirked his eyebrows up in interest.

"Those tight jeans, the way your henley shirts expose your chest," Caroline continued, looking at him through hooded eyes. "I used to want to rip them right off you."

"Did you now?" Klaus smirked, innocently tracing a line up her body with his hands. He brushed his hand teasingly up against her breast, delighting himself in the sound of her breath catching. His hand had just reached the notch on her towel to unravel it when she caught his hand and pushed him away abruptly with a mischievous grin.

"Now I just want to personally stake the salesperson that convinced you to buy a gold vest. I mean "waistcoat," she corrected at his confused expression. "It was still ridiculous."

"Love," he interjected. She ignored him as she made a face at the wall where she was visualizing the clothes.

"What didn't you get rid of?"

She blushed sheepishly and gestured at his bare side of the closet.

"Those black jeans and that suit. And well, I didn't touch any of your prized items from your creepy wardrobe from the past. I didn't want Rebekah to snap my neck if I accidently burned one of her dresses from the 17th century."

"I cannot believe you got rid of all my clothes," he blinked incredulously at the lone pair of pants."I've had some of those for years."

"I could tell," snorted Caroline and he shot her a dangerous look.

Caroline came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist and gently hugged him.

"It was for your own good," she stated, her words muffled by his back as she placed a gentle kiss on his smooth skin.

"Easy for you to say, you have clothes," he said gesturing at her side with his hand. She chuckled against his back and turned him around in her arms.

"I'm taking you shopping," Caroline promised, kissing his pouting lips gently. "It'll be fun."

He narrowed his eyes in response at the devilish glint in her eyes, not completely unlike one usually seen in his.

"Fun? Spending a day in a crowded shopping mall filled with mindless teenagers and wretched children is fun?" Klaus questioned. "They will be lucky if I can resist tearing into their throats if they bump into me."

"It'll be a fun activity we can do together," Caroline promised, batting her eyes innocently at him. "I'll make it up to you."

"Well, I can think of an activity or two that doesn't require clothing," Klaus mused, pulling her soft body toward his. He began to trail open-mouth kisses across her bare collarbone as her breathing stuttered. "I can send a minion to get me some new clothing. Maybe a surprise for you?"

"But-" she whispered, moaning when he bit her jaw with his blunt human teeth. "I need to-"

"Get back in bed?" Klaus supplied, cutting off her response with a deep kiss. Caroline succumbed to his lips and eagerly pulled him closer, crushing her scantily clad body even closer to his. Klaus smirked against her lips, pleased at how easily she was swayed.

Caroline pushed her fingers through his hair and yanked his head from hers causing him to yelp.

"First, we need to shop," she smiled devilishly. "And don't think you can get out of this by seducing me!"

Klaus sighed, defeated.

"There is only one problem with that, sweetheart."

"Hmm?" she asked, watching her hands trace the smooth planes of his chest.

"I don't have anything to wear," he reminded her. She rolled her eyes good-naturedly before releasing herself from his embrace.

"I did save _something_," she said, rifling through her hangers. She pulled out a light gray henley and tossed it at him.

"Where did you get this?" Klaus asked. "I haven't seen it since I left it at Mystic Falls."

"I might have broken into the mansion in Mystic Falls a few months before I came to live here to you know, make sure you didn't leave any lights on, see if any faucets were running, grab a few items," she shrugged casually, biting her bottom lip as she looked down at the floor refusing to meet his amused expression.

"It smells like you," he sniffed at the shirt before pulling it on, reveling in the flowery Caroline-esque smell.

"It used to smell like you," she stated, turning back to her side of the closet to get dressed.

Klaus' head shot up and watched the tops of her ears turn red with her confession. Trying desperately to hold in a big smile, Klaus dropped his towel and reached for his lone pair of black jeans. Noticing Caroline's movements on the other side of the room had stilled, he peaked over his shoulder to see her biting the side of her lip as she shamelessly stared at his bare ass.

Smirking, Klaus turned around and slowly pulled on the jeans as her gaze never once drifted up from his waist.

"Do you mind?" Klaus teased, buttoning his pants. Caroline's eyes shot up and noted the dark husky look in his eyes. She smiled impishly and reached for the dress she had picked out.

"Not at all," she stated, dropping her towel. Klaus' eyes widened considerably and his mouth went dry instantly. Smirking victoriously, she turned to leave and in a flash, Klaus sped to meet her at the closet door.

"And where do you think you're going?" he mused, lowering his lips down to the soft skin of her neck. She sighed contentedly as he nipped gently at her jaw.

"To get dressed so we can get you some clothes. Because if we don't, you won't be getting anything _else_ any time soon," she threatened with a smile.

With that, Klaus immediately straightened up and kissed her forehead.

"I'll meet you in the living room, love."

* * *

"Klaus, no."

Klaus stood in front of the mall hair salon, absently running his hand through his sandy blonde curls. Caroline held his other hand, trying to tug him towards the nearest department store with no success.

"My hair is starting to get a little bit too long for my taste," he mused. Caroline rolled her eyes and moved to where she was standing in his eye line.

"Your hair is just now starting to look normal again. I'm not letting you cut it," she stated, folded her arms against her chest.

"It's about to be summer and short hair is better when it's warm," Klaus frowned as he felt a curl on the top of his head.

"You're a hybrid, you're always warm," Caroline chided. "You are not getting another haircut."

"You don't like my short hair?" he pouted.

"It's not that I _hate_ it," she began, reaching her hand up to take his in hers. "I just like it when I can see some of the curls. It's much more stylish and it's really cute."

"You think it's cute?" he asked, quirking the side of his mouth up. She chuckled, leading him into the salon.

"Here, let's get some hair gel and I'll teach you how to manage it when we get home."

"You are _not_ telling Kol about this," he warned as she pulled him by the hand.

Klaus stood patiently behind her as she grabbed a couple of tubs and bottles off the shelves and went to the register to pay. He shot death glares at the women in the salon who were curiously watching him as they got their hair done. Caroline uttered a sharp "_behave!" _when Klaus began to snarl at the cashier who tried to engage him in conversation as she checked them out.

Noticing her pay with platinum card Klaus had given to her in the past, he gave into the rare desire of PDA by looping an arm around her waist and nuzzled his nose into her hair. Caroline leaned back into his embrace and caught his eye and winked at him as the cashier bagged the gel.

Caroline thanked the cashier and Klaus nodded coolly at the bemused woman before allowing himself to be tugged out of the salon.

"What's next?" he asked. Caroline looked around the mall with a critical eye, her eyes lighting up over his shoulder.

"Aha!" she announced, pointing over his shoulder. He turned around and his eyes were immediately drawn to a black and pink store.

"Now that's more like it," he smirked, grabbing Caroline's hand and began pulling her towards the familiar lingerie store. Caroline giggled as she pulled her hand out of his grip.

"No, not _Victoria's Secret_," she laughed, pulling at his waist to get him to stop. He growled, frustrated as she pointed at the department store next to it. "_Nordstrom._"

"But, love, what if I want to buy you a present?" he asked suddenly stopping in the middle of the aisle, ignoring all the dirty looks from the mall-goers.

"Excuse you," a middle age lady snipped at him. He flashed his hybrid eyes at the lady in warning and Caroline smacked his arm.

"Please, you know that's more of a present for you."

Klaus brought his hands up and shrugged. She scoffed and yanked him into the department store. Five employees immediately accosted them with perfume samples and Caroline continued to power through them, pulling Klaus through as fast as she could. She was in no mood to chase him down or compel any employees that he would no doubt try to kill if they bothered him.

Reaching the men's section at last, she breathed a sigh of relief, as they were the only people around besides the lone salesperson. Quickly compelling the salesperson to leave them alone, she sat Klaus in a chair and began looking through the racks.

"Can I at least find something to pick out?" he spoke behind her sounding utterly bored. She turned around and saw him hunched over with his elbows on his knees and his phone in his hands, most likely playing Draw Something with Marcel.

"What looks good to you?" she asked, gesturing to the racks.

"Well-"

"And don't say that hooded sweater over there," she reprimanded him. His eyes darkened and he turned his attention back to his phone.

She smirked victoriously at the top of his head and continued looking through more racks. She pulled out an array of long sleeve shirts, bringing some up to him at the chair and putting it up against his annoyed face as she tried to see how it would look against his skin tone.

"What's your opinion on short sleeves?" she asked, pulling at a dark blue one.

"I don't have one, love," Klaus replied, his face never leaving his phone. Caroline contemplated the shirt and took a dark gray jacket and threw it into his lap.

"Try those on."

He sighed loudly before stripping off his shirt, Caroline licking her lips absently at the appearance of his abs. Putting the t-shirt and jacket on, he went to go stand in front of a nearby mirror.

"Hm," she circled around him. "Not with those pants."

"What's wrong with the pants?"

"Seriously? That's a navy shirt Klaus and you're wearing black jeans," she pointed out. He looked at her clueless and she groaned in frustration.

"And that's why I burned all your clothes," she muttered, pulling the jacket off his shoulders. He was left standing there in the simple t-shirt and Caroline fixated on his lean arms. She ran her hand down his arm softly marveling at the tone and he smirked at her bewitched expression.

"Love?"

"Sorry!" she snapped her eyes up to his and smiled sheepishly. "Take that off."

"If you wanted me naked sweetheart, we could have stayed home," he smirked.

She rolled her eyes and pressed his henley into his hands and walked back to the pile of clothes she had gathered, adding in several more t-shirts with a wry grin.

"How do you feel about button downs?" Caroline asked fingering a familiar looking red one. Klaus walked up and scrunched his face in disgust.

"Ghastly."

Caroline ignored him and added it to the pile.

"Suits?"

"I could do with a few new black ones, I suppose," Klaus kept his eyes on his phone and shrugged.

Caroline added a few suits to the pile including a black one but particularly favored two that were similar to the ones he had worn back in Mystic Falls, one with coat tails, and a dark navy suit. She felt Klaus' eyes on her when she added a silver button down shirt and a white shirt to the pile. He smiled at her affectionately when he got up and placed a familiar dark silver tie and white bowtie to the pile.

"Any more ties?" he asked. Caroline shook her head no, placing a black tie on top of the white bowtie.

"No, I like it when you unbutton the top and just have your necklaces. It's pretty sexy," she winked at him. Klaus rolled his eyes but didn't hide the smile creeping onto his face.

"What now?"

"Now to the pants!" Caroline cheered, pushing the huge pile of clothes into his hands. She flipped through racks of jeans, pants, suit pants, corduroys, and khakis as Klaus dropped the huge pile of clothes into a chair. Noticing her lack of focus on him, he subtly slipped a cowl necked cardigan to the middle of the pile.

Pressing six pairs of pants into his hands, Caroline directed him into the dressing room.

"Love?" he called to Caroline before going in.

"Yes?"

"I'm not wearing any underwear and that isn't quite sanitary for this," he said cheekily. "I don't think I should try all these on."

Caroline wrinkled her nose and thrust a package of boxer briefs in his hands.

"Just rip the plastic off those," she huffed, trying not to giggle at the annoyed look on his face.

She patiently sat through him trying all the pants on, giving him tips about what to wear with them as his tolerance with the trip grew smaller and smaller. When the last pair had been tried on, he burst out of the dressing room and threw the pants on the pile with a huff.

"Now are we done?" he crossed his arms, pouting similarly to a child. She grinned up at him and kissed him on the lips.

"Almost," she promised. "Didn't you say something about leather pants and a leather jacket?"

His face immediately perked up and he strode back over to the pants section. With his attention on the pants, she rifled through the clothes piles and plucked out the cowl-neck cardigan that Klaus snuck in and placed it back on the rack.

She walked over to see him pull out a smooth fitted set of black leather pants and hoist them up to show her. Caroline personally thought that he didn't need the pants but the spark in his eye was too adorable to resist. She nodded and he handed the pants to her and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you, love."

They went over and picked out a nice, non-wrinkly, non-hooded black leather jacket to go with the majority of his new shirts and pants because_ love, there is nothing wrong with a little bit of leather._Walking up to the cash register, Klaus helped Caroline haul all his new clothes up on the counter. The attendant's eyes widened at the enormous pile of clothes before starting the grueling task of ringing it all up.

"You do realize this person probably loathes us for buying so many items," Klaus whispered darkly into Caroline's ear.

"Please, we probably met their monthly sales quota in this one transaction," Caroline whispered back with a winning smile.

Klaus rolled his eyes and kissed her temple as he watched the salesperson ring up each item.

"Where is my-"

"You didn't actually think I'd let you get away with that cowl neck sweater did you?" Caroline asked gritted out through her teeth, smiling at the cashier. Klaus huffed in response.

After handing over her platinum card to pay, Caroline signed the receipt slip. Klaus gathered up the rest of his bags, including the ones from the salon and began heading towards the door. Caroline caught up with him quickly before tugging his elbow towards the shoe section.

"Don't tell me you burned my shoes too?" Klaus sighed.

"Okay, I won't," Caroline shrugged. "But I did."

He dropped into a chair seat with a huff as Caroline flagged down a salesperson to get him some black and brown boot and shoe options. He noticed her eying a pair of red pumps out the corner of her eye as they waited, turning back to him with a smile when he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

After avoiding an incident where Klaus almost flashed his fangs at the overly helpful salesperson, Caroline managed to get him to pick out a few new pairs of acceptable shoes. Wistfully looking at the beautiful pair of red Christian Louboutin pumps, Caroline went to get up before noticing the box that Klaus had placed near her feet.

"Is that-"

"Yes," Klaus smiled at her. Caroline opened the familiar box, drawing in a low breath as she saw the beautiful red shoes she was admiring inside.

"But this trip is about you," she protested lightly, wiggling her foot delicately into the slender heel. Klaus watched her parade in front of him triumphantly, paying extra attention to how agreeable the heels were to her smooth calves. The shoes elongated her legs and Klaus envisioned them wrapped around his waist with the heels still on.

"You are getting those," he growled out, licking the top of his lip. Caroline caught his gaze beneath her lashes and he could tell she was thinking the same thing. Slipping off the shoes, she boxed them back up and he took them up to the cashier to pay for them. With a small smile, she got in line behind him to pay for his new shoes.

Squeezing her hand affectionately, he went back to grab all the other bags. They faced another line of perfume salespeople and Caroline let Klaus flash his fangs at a particularly annoying sales lady who had been eying him predatorily while Caroline was paying.

"Now can I buy you a present?" Klaus asked hopefully, his eyes straying towards _Victoria's Secret_. Caroline laughed and began leading him towards another store.

"I thought these were my present," Caroline teased, holding up her shopping bag. Klaus' eyes darkened lustfully and stepped closer to her.

"Sweetheart, that's just an accessory to what I will buy you."

Caroline inwardly shivered at the almost predatory way he was looking at her.

"Speaking of accessories," she swallowed, willing herself to keep from giving into his eyes. She kept walking before stopping him in front of another store. "Ta da!"

"C_harming Charlie_? What is this bloody store?" Klaus asked, looking into the bright store window.

"It's an accessory store!" Caroline explained, trying to pull him inside.

"I don't need accessories, sweetheart," he hissed, looking around behind him self -consciously. Caroline rolled her eyes.

"It's either this store or _Claire's_ across the way," she pointed behind him. He looked and saw a gaggle of preteens in the aforementioned store wearing One Direction and Justin Bieber shirts, squealing over earrings. He huffed and pulled a giggling Caroline into _Charming Charlie_.

"Now what are we even looking for in here?" Klaus asked, wrinkling his nose at the multitude of jewelry and purses.

"A necklace," Caroline answered absently, scouring the room for brown leather jewelry.

"Sweetheart, I have plenty of necklaces," he protested. She pulled him over to the appropriate jewelry sectionand began sifting through necklaces. He groaned and made it a point to ignore the few teenagers who whispered about him across the store.

_"OMG he's so cute."_

_"I wonder what he's doing in here?"_

_"Do you think he's gay?"_

_"Man his friend is hot. Look at the legs on her."_

Klaus growled at that and shot a dark look to the young man who was standing with a few other guys in the corner waiting for their girlfriends to finish shopping.

"Okay!" Caroline turned and brandished a familiar beaded brown necklace at him.

"Is that-"

"A near-replica of the necklace that I ripped off you in the woods at Mystic Falls?" she finished, smiling shyly at him. He matched her smile and took it in his hands, inspecting it.

"It looks the same to me," he smiled, surprisingly touched at the move. "Whatever happened to my actual one?"

"It's in my jewelry box at the house. I didn't want to give it up," she blushed, slipping the necklace over his head to make sure it was long enough. He caught her hands around his neck and kissed her firmly yet passionately on the mouth, her body melting against him.

"I love you," he whispered nipping at her lips, quietly so that only she could hear with her supernatural hearing. Caroline's heart stuttered at the rare affectionate phrase from him and gave him a brilliant smile.

"I love you too," she whispered back. Kissing her on the tip of her nose, he took the necklace and led her to the cashiers.

Ignoring all the other patrons staring at him, Klaus goofily smiled at Caroline's back admiring how she just seemed to radiate light by existing. Her blonde hair shone brighter than anybody else's, she had a brighter smile, and she made him want to be enough for her. He knows he never will be, but he'd die trying. He snuck a kiss on her cheek as she finished paying, her cheeks tingeing a pale pink. She gave the cashier a gallant thank you and Klaus even flashed a dimple at the baffled salesperson.

"Where to?" Klaus asked once they were outside the store. Caroline was slightly giddy over his rare declaration and her body started to hum from the intensity of his kiss and the close proximity to his body.

"I think I want my present now," Caroline said lightly. Klaus looked at her through the corner of his eye and she winked coquettishly at him. He smirked, dimples showing as he dragged her into the long awaited lingerie store.

"I'll compel us a dressing room and you find something to try on," Klaus ordered, nearly pushing her towards the lingerie sets. Caroline giggled at his excitement and started to look through the racks.

"Oh and Caroline?"

Caroline pulled a black bra and panty set off a rack and looked at him questionably.

"You're trying those heels on with that."

Caroline gulped at the dark lustful look on his face and inwardly shivered as he turned towards the dressing room. She began grabbing all black lingerie sets that she could find and then absently fingered a leather bra set before taking it back with her.

Maybe Klaus is right.

There's nothing wrong with a little bit of leather.

* * *

**So what did you think?**

**Got anything you would like to see in my next drabble/one shot? I do have one coming out sometime later in April!**

**Until Next Time!**

**Kaitlyn**


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